Letter to the One Who is Suffering

Mobiverse Letter Challenge: Day 25 - Person Ker-Ys knows is going through the worst of times: 

Death is swift. 

Death is unforgiving. 

Death is sometimes painful. 

Death…is final. 

I stood over my body. I was…shocked. I didn’t even recognize myself. The sight before me was so morbid and grotesque. My people…my land…demolished. Destroyed. A barren wasteland, a watery graveyard! Ker-Ys was no more. 

Part of me did not want to accept it. I wanted to dive back into my body and wake up and start over. I did not care how long it would take or how hard it would be, but I wanted to try again! I kept thinking I could have done this or that in order to prevent this! But it was all after the fact. It was too late. I had…so many regrets. 

My biggest one being you, Shambala, Mengyao. 

I should have tried harder to be with you. I should have ignored the consequences and fears of being with another man, of being with someone in general. It was looked down upon for us nations, but why should the world be allowed to fall in love and we not? I cared so deeply for you and I wished so hard I could see you one more time and tell you how much I loved you and adored you and wanted to hold you and kiss you and make love to you and be with you for the rest of eternity. 

Though…I never expected you would actually show up. 

It’s funny. When I saw you I screamed at you to leave. I screamed and shouted like a banshee and it was all for nothing. You could not hear or see me. 

As I screamed I noticed there was someone else with you. I…I did not want to believe what I was seeing. My little Ciro. My brother. I actually ran to you both and asked what happened. He looked worse than I did and the horror of it was that he was still alive. He looked like he had been torn apart and…bite marks? What happened to my Ciro? 

I did not have time to dwell on it though. You saw me, Mengyao. You saw my ravaged body. You ran to me and I actually stood in front of you, arms open to stop you, but you went right through me. I…I could do nothing but stand there and listen to you scream my name, scream at me to ask if you loved me. I did. I asked so many times and even though you said you loved me I knew you weren’t answering me directly. I screamed along side you. I screamed your name. I begged you not to cry. I told you I loved you and to stay strong. 

You did not hear a word of it. 

Did you know that I sat with you and cried with you for all those hours? I was right beside you the whole time. 

-I actually had to step away from this letter for a bit. I was making my other self too emotional. We are deeply connected to our hosts, much more deeply than I imagined. I…he cried as I wrote this letter, but I’m afraid I’m far from done. 

I watched you until you finally calmed down some. You took away my body and buried it and for that I am most grateful. I knew I had to leave…I had to move on to wherever the dead go after they leave the earth. However…Ciro asked you a question. He asked you a question and your response made me stop. It froze me to the core even though I was dead and I could only beg you not to think like that even though you didn’t hear me at all. Ciro asked what you two were going to do. 

“We forget.” 

Shortly after that Ciro died and you did exactly what you said you would. You forgot. Through sheer willpower you literally forgot everything, even your own name. I…didn’t know what to think. Should I think you selfish, Mengyao? You forgot about me, the one who loved you the most! You forgot about your friends and for what? What would forgetting it all accomplish? 

Then I thought…it would be selfish of me to ask you to remember it all, the horror of seeing the one you love the most dead in front of you, drowned, the grotesque sight of my beloved Ciro…the loss of everyone and everything around you. I eventually whispered in your ear that it was okay. It was okay for you to forget. You did not deserve to suffer so much and I would not ask you to remember all of that misery. 

I followed you throughout your new life. I was right beside you. I watched over you. I refused to move on until I was forced to. I watched you live your life as a normal person. You were always confused because you had no memory of your past, but you were not unhappy. That was all that mattered to me. 

I remember one day…a special day. You were buying some fruit from a man at a market. You two were having a lovely conversation and then suddenly he asked what your name was. You froze. You didn’t know. No one had asked you that question before and you simply did not have a name for yourself. I whispered in your ear again. You obviously could not use the name Shambala so I told you it was Mengyao. 

You heard me. You actually heard me I think. 

Or rather you misheard me. 

“Wang Yao. My name is Wang Yao.”

Close enough?

Honestly I was just happy to think that you may have heard me. You finally heard the little bird whispering in your ear. You did not hear me well, but you heard me nevertheless. 

And Wang Yao is definitely not a bad name by any means. If we had become closer I might have started using Yao as a nickname for you anyway. 

As much as I wanted to stay with you I noticed other nations, new ones, were appearing. My turn would come shortly whether or not I liked it. Your turn came too. I left you at a time when I thought you needed me most. 

That dragon….

I did not trust it. I begged you not to go with him, but he promised to tell you the truth of who you were. I…I don’t think he did. I felt myself fading and soon I was gone and the last thing I saw was you going off with that dragon. I’m sorry, Mengyao. I’m sorry I left you alone on this cruel earth. I tried my best to stay with you but I couldn’t. As much as I wanted to stay I had to go. My time wandering this earth was over, however…there was someone else whose time was just beginning. 

France. 

You are now known as China, Mengyao. That dragon is your boss. You took care of several little nations. And you fell in love my new self, France. I thought we would be torn apart but you found me again and I found you. Even though you never regained your memories you are happy and in love with your soul mate and that is all that matters to me. You are no longer suffering. 

Death may be swift. 

Death may be unforgiving. 

Death may be painful. 

But I think you and I and all of us have proven that Death…is not final.